What if I told you that the habits you form in your youth would determine the success you will have in life? You might already know that, but Dale Carnegie made such discovery a century ago.
Who is Dale Carnegie?
Carnegie, together withgave birth to the personal development industry in the United States. Although this name sounds familiar to you, don’t be fooled. Dale Carnegie was not related to Andrew, the wealthiest self-made billionaire in the world, at the beginning of the 20th century. Instead, his original name was “Carnagey,” that soon he transformed into “Carnegie.” Dale started his career as an actor, but after an unpromising start in NYC he figured it all out. He started self-development courses that taught how to master , salesmanship and much more. His sessions more than simple seminars became life-changing opportunities.
How did he succeed?
Dale Carnegie knew that being influent was not something that we have written in our DNA. Instead, he believed that anyone could master the art of influence by tweaking his/her behaviors. Carnegie found out that a slight change in one’s attitude towards others could drastically change the world’s response to that individual. The Carnegie method was original because it was not meant to give you advice or techniques, but principles. Indeed, what Carnegie does is to collect the life’s experience of many of his associates, people he knew, historical personalities and formulate a framework that could be used in any era and any circumstance. In fact, while techniques are non-natural and short-lived; principles instead, are immortal and can be used in any situation that will present to you.
Why should you follow Carnegie’s framework?
Dale Carnegie’s seminars changed the lives of hundreds of thousands of people. His books: “” and “how to stop worrying and start living” improved the lives of millions of individuals. One living proof of Carnegie’s principles effectiveness is . The self-made billionaire had cited many times the fact that when he was young, he did have a high IQ. Although, he lacked social intelligence, and most of all, he was terrified of . For such reason, as soon as out from school, 21 years old , enrolled in Carnegie’s seminar’s. The workshop was so practical that met the woman of his life and dared to announce his love to her, nonetheless his shyness.
What advice would Dale Carnegie give to you?
The framework that Carnegie offers to readers is incredibly comprehensive. For example, the book opens with three basic principles that you have to master before moving on. Those principles are:
- Don’t criticize, condemn or complain,
- give honest and sincere appreciation,
- arouse in the other person an eager want.
You might consider them trivial, and I am sure you will ask: why would I follow Carnegie’s advise?
Why should you follow Carnegie’s principles?
The most remarkable thing is the way those principles are presented. Dale Carnegie is not there to be your lecturer or teacher but to give you an insight of other people’s lives. This will radically change your perspective, in dealing with folks. For example, why would you stop condemning others when they are wrong? Well, as Carnegie puts it condemning would be counterproductive.
Why? Because when committing something wrong, we rationalize our behavior, to the point of justifying it. For example, the most sinister gangster of all time, Althought of himself as a public benefactor. And if he did so, imagine what a rational and honest person would think of himself. In few words, according to Dale Carnegie: “Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself.” Now if pride is the most important thing for the average person, imagine the adverse effect of hearing someone’s ego. If this argument did not convince you, Carnegie goes further. is a fantastic example of how counterproductive criticizing can become. At a young age, Lincoln criticized and ridiculed people through public letters and poems. One day, Lincoln wrote an offensive letter toward a politician, which eventually challenged him to fight a duel. Although Lincoln was against violence, he could not refuse. Ultimately, the contest was stopped just when our protagonist was about to lose his life. From that moment on, Lincoln never criticized anyone for anything again. If He learned this lesson, there is another historical character, which unfortunately learned this principle too late in life. The following story is not cited in Carnegie’s book; we thought it might be helpful to you to understand Carnegie’s first principle better. Galileo Galilei has been one of the greatest scientists, astronomers, and mathematician of all time. The theory for which he gained popularity was the reaffirmation of Copernicus’ theory: The earth was not at the center of the universe, but instead a planet like others rotating around the sun. This theory might sound mundane to you now, but in the 16th century was not. Indeed, the Holy Scriptures’ interpretation did not leave space to Copernicus’ theory and instead it was believed that earth was at the center of the known universe.
What does that have to do with criticism?
Well, althoughwas a great scientist, he wasted a great deal of his time caring about other’s people critics. In dealing with these critics, often public letters. In these letters, he severely criticized and ridiculed all the folks that would not agree with him. Though he was right in his affirmations, the way he opposed his theories was not effective. In fact, by the end of the 16th century, had amassed a significant number of enemies anywhere. And as it will turn out, the letters he were used against him in the inquisition (investigation made by the Church). Also, the people that were offended twenty years before, by ’s letters, never forgot it. Indeed, many of them became his greatest enemies. Of course, the scientist was right, and the sun was at the center of the solar system. Nonetheless, he could have chosen a different way of communicating with his contemporaries. If he knew the first Carnegie’s principle “don’t criticize, condemn or complain,” could have become more influent among those who criticized him. The moral of the story is: “who lives by the sword, dies by the sword.”
Start applying the first principle and see how your life will drastically change:
DON’T CRITICIZE, CONDEMN OR COMPLAIN.
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